You're probably thinking this is a Valentine's Day post if you've read the title and considered the date, but you'd be wrong. No, this post is much more significant, to me at least, and it all starts with one simple fact: I'm getting older. I think I've said that before and this is only my fifth blog entry; but it's true, I am getting older and it's starting to show. And not just because I find myself repeating things. I'm talking about actual physical change here.
The truth is, I'm scared of getting old because death is my greatest fear; the irony is that death is inevitable. It is the only thing any of us are guaranteed in life. Isn't that some shit? But it terrifies me, death does. Life is a beautiful thing. Even on my lousiest days I'd rather be alive than cease to exist. I'd rather spend the next 50 years trudging through rancid manure than keel over and die today. That's the truth. To no longer live, to no longer see the sky or the trees or the animals, to no longer feel air filling my lungs, those are the pieces of true tragedy. But they are things we all will face. And I've started to come to grips with that because of a recent trip to the barber shop. I'm sorry to disappoint you but this will not be the script for the next Ice Cube movie, he doesn't cut hair at Sal's in Jamaica Plain.
So I'm at the barber, my chin pressed down to my chest, my eyes are closed, the air smells like shaving cream and disinfectant, but it's familiar and comforting. Snip, snip, I hear the scissors repeating over and over across my head. The TV is on in the background and I hear President Obama addressing the needs of our country for a better future. I slowly open my eyes to adjust my head for Nacer, my barber, and I see in my lap a pile of hair. A combination of salt and pepper, still damp from the spray bottle. In an instant I recognized the hair, and though it is my own, I swear it belongs to someone else. How could this hair be mine when it looks exactly the way I remember my father's? I can picture his coarse salt and pepper from when I was a child so clearly. The way it felt when I gave him noogies when we wrestled in the living room. The way it stood up, all big and puffy, in the mornings when he'd make us breakfast. His hair was such a part of him. It was a prominent feature in his appearance, and something that I hold on to as a memory of my childhood, of a time that I was blessed to be in the presence of my dad, one of the world's most wonderful human beings.
I have many memories of going to the barber with Dad when I was a child. The shop had all the same smells and sounds I find at Sal's today, even the same jar of lollipops beside the cash register. I'd watch his hair collect on the checkered floor in little piles of black and gray, exactly the way mine does today. The same combination of color, the same texture, the same little swirls of hair. Could it be that the man I admired and idolized as a child, the very same man who lived my greatest fear 12 years ago this month, is the man that I'm becoming? If I'm growing up to be like Dad, then maybe getting older isn't so bad. I can only hope that age will make me half the man that I knew him to be...
Monday, February 13, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
5 Men I Loved This Year: This is football, baby!
Football is my favorite sport, hands down. No question. No contest. It just is. The intensity and the pace of the game is unparalleled to anything I've lived in my 31 years on Earth. Every Sunday my TV turns on at 1pm and by the time I go to turn it off around 11pm I'm disheveled, I've lost my voice, tears are running down my face, my retinas are detaching and I'm drunk. My wife, god bless her, knows that once September comes she's lost me on Sundays, Monday nights and sometimes even Thursdays and Saturdays. But after logging all of that time torturing my nerves on the rollercoaster that is the NFL season, what do I have to show for it come February, besides a heart condition? A backlog of memories formed around the amazing triumphs and failures of the players I have grown to love from my couch. So, without further ado, I give to you my top five players of the 2011 season.
5. Drew Brees: The man almost singlehandedly carried my fantasy football team to a surprise third place finish. Sure, third is last place in the winners bracket, but it also means I broke even and got my $100 back. There were games he'd rack up nearly 50 fantasy points all by himself. By the end of the year, I couldn't feel the wind blow without thinking of Brees. Oh, and he also set the record for most yards thrown in a season. No biggie.
4.Ndamukong Suh: Alright. The guy did some dirty things on the field. But it's football. It's not like he stomped on someone's bare head. And let's be real about this, he's not the first player to do dirty shit on the field. Have we already forgotten Bill Romanowski? He's remembered as a linebacker legend, but the guy was a dirty as they come, and he too kicked a guy in the head. Brandon Merriweather kicked a guy in the head in college. And Albert Haynesworth stomped a dude a few years ago while playing in Tennessee. Shit happens. It's a contact sport. If a player doesn't want get hurt, they should stop their crying and go play baseball or something. The fact of the matter is, before Suh came to the NFL the Lions were the laughing stock of the league. Since Suh, they have become one of the most feared competitors in the game. I applaud him for his ferocity and ability to intimidate his opponents and his fans.
3. Tom Brady: What's not to love. The man has fathered two children, one with the most successful supermodel of all time, the other with a drop-dead-gorgeous actress. While I'd typically fault someone for knocking up two different chicks, he's able to afford his child support, doesn't strike me as a dead beat dad, plus who can blame him for wanting to have sex with either of these women? And after this season, he further solidified his entrance to the Hall of Fame by breaking Dan Marino's record for most yards in a season. Sure he's second behind Brees, but his life's a hell of a lot cooler. And his team's in the Super Bowl.
2. Rob Gronkowski: He's just Gronk. Need I really say more? Really? Okay. Fine. This should sum it up:
90 Receptions.
1327 Yards
17 TDS
And Bibi Jones.
1. Billy Cundiff: If you didn't see this coming, then you clearly didn't see the AFC Championship game. I think I am now this guy's biggest fan. First of all, he is now Baltimore's Ray Finkle. That shit cracks me up. Second, he kicked the Patriots into the Super Bowl. Everyone in New England should love this guy. I can tell you now that I will be the proud owner of a Billy Cundiff football jersey. In fact, I may actually sport one for the Super Bowl. It should be said, also, that he did play for the Ravens, but he is by far my favorite Patriot this season. Without Cundiff's incredible clutch performance, the Pats would not be heading to Indy this weekend. And for that, I salute him. And I love him.
5. Drew Brees: The man almost singlehandedly carried my fantasy football team to a surprise third place finish. Sure, third is last place in the winners bracket, but it also means I broke even and got my $100 back. There were games he'd rack up nearly 50 fantasy points all by himself. By the end of the year, I couldn't feel the wind blow without thinking of Brees. Oh, and he also set the record for most yards thrown in a season. No biggie.
4.Ndamukong Suh: Alright. The guy did some dirty things on the field. But it's football. It's not like he stomped on someone's bare head. And let's be real about this, he's not the first player to do dirty shit on the field. Have we already forgotten Bill Romanowski? He's remembered as a linebacker legend, but the guy was a dirty as they come, and he too kicked a guy in the head. Brandon Merriweather kicked a guy in the head in college. And Albert Haynesworth stomped a dude a few years ago while playing in Tennessee. Shit happens. It's a contact sport. If a player doesn't want get hurt, they should stop their crying and go play baseball or something. The fact of the matter is, before Suh came to the NFL the Lions were the laughing stock of the league. Since Suh, they have become one of the most feared competitors in the game. I applaud him for his ferocity and ability to intimidate his opponents and his fans.
3. Tom Brady: What's not to love. The man has fathered two children, one with the most successful supermodel of all time, the other with a drop-dead-gorgeous actress. While I'd typically fault someone for knocking up two different chicks, he's able to afford his child support, doesn't strike me as a dead beat dad, plus who can blame him for wanting to have sex with either of these women? And after this season, he further solidified his entrance to the Hall of Fame by breaking Dan Marino's record for most yards in a season. Sure he's second behind Brees, but his life's a hell of a lot cooler. And his team's in the Super Bowl.
2. Rob Gronkowski: He's just Gronk. Need I really say more? Really? Okay. Fine. This should sum it up:
90 Receptions.
1327 Yards
17 TDS
And Bibi Jones.
1. Billy Cundiff: If you didn't see this coming, then you clearly didn't see the AFC Championship game. I think I am now this guy's biggest fan. First of all, he is now Baltimore's Ray Finkle. That shit cracks me up. Second, he kicked the Patriots into the Super Bowl. Everyone in New England should love this guy. I can tell you now that I will be the proud owner of a Billy Cundiff football jersey. In fact, I may actually sport one for the Super Bowl. It should be said, also, that he did play for the Ravens, but he is by far my favorite Patriot this season. Without Cundiff's incredible clutch performance, the Pats would not be heading to Indy this weekend. And for that, I salute him. And I love him.
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